Today is supposedly Talk Like a Pirate Day. However, being the gloomy and negative person that I am, I'm going to have to be a wet blanket and try to apprehend anyone who talks like a pirate. Pirates are truly a despicable lot who deserve no mercy, and this is as true as it was in the past as it is today. Anyone who wants to honor the holiday had better avoid me, since I may declare this a Talk Like a Pirate Hunter Day.
Then again, tis' on'y a talk like 'em pirates day, arr matey?